At rest.

January 26, 2018.

'My Glory Was I Had Such Friends' by Amy Silverstein

January 7, 2018.

Weekend book and a coffee, a relaxing way
to spend my time at home, in the cold.

  HNY. Welcome to 2018. I'm starting January by reading three books within the first three weeks. If I want to reach my goal, reading three books a month is ideal. Also, I'm attempting to take more photos of anything and everything, in an effort to enhance my creative eye. So, let's knock 'em out early each month, and let's keep the camera out of its bag.

Starbucks cup Haiku.

December 2, 2017.

Finding me.

September 19, 2017.

Foreign melodies, clanking chimes, talking, my voice, all of it.
I need any one way, any one thing, to drown it out.
Turning away, to turn to you. 

  Loving my selfie is getting easier, but by no means is it something I'm able to do every day. From the facial scars to the various worries of how my face-size appears - plus the fact I still appear college-aged - it's sometimes hard to not think about the ridicule and comments others may make and, even more, my own perceptions. It impacts self-worth when it shouldn't.

"I'm just fine here, finding me." -VH. I'm also just fine here, wearing one of my favorite shirts.

  I felt confident and comfortable on Sunday while I was relaxing before my radio show; I was wearing one of my favorite shirts and wanted to put effort into my hair and makeup despite the fact I'd be sitting in the studio alone for the majority of the night. After embracing the warmth from the sun and snapping a few photos, I smiled as I reviewed the shots. Damn, I don't look too bad. I look genuinely happy and not that weird-looking. Why can't I look like this every day?

  Music is an integral part of my self-discovery and self-acceptance this year, especially trying to find myself and find out why my life goals have kept me in Ohio for two years. Music actually has always played a role in my identity, just unconsciously and I'm now looking back and discovering the ways in which it did all those years ago

  I've met a lot of wicked-awesome individuals, in real life and online, who (I hope) label me as an acquaintance, at the least; they have taken the time to discuss nearly anything and everything about the musicians we mutually enjoy. They should know I'm thankful and appreciative of their time and friendship. TY, everyone.

  Nothing ground-breaking here; I wanted to be vulnerable. That's all.

Goodbye summer, hello tears.

August 17, 2017

  Despite a long scroll of new music I needed to try out, I played my Spotify current go-to tunes playlist during my seven-hour drive. I started to tap to the rhythm of "All I Was Looking For Was You" by Fastball (side note: this song has the best song lyric ever written, Midnight on heartbreak avenue, all twisted up on bitches brew). Out of nowhere, tears and heartache engulfed me. Singing along is a must while driving, but I just couldn't get the words out; it felt as if I was an asthmatic attempting to run a 6-minute mile. This part of the song especially got me ugly-crying:

Running away from everything that looks like me. I heard a voice. I saw your face, it set me free.

 For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to continue with Fastball's "Dark Street" in an attempt to get everything that I was feeling out of my system. It sure did help the flow of tears.

Come on down and never leave my sky again. Shine your love light, love light, love light...

  I then finished the cry-fest with Colin Hay's "The Best In Me," and my previous post sheds light on the emotional performance of this song at the most recent concert. I approached the toll-booth attendant with my sunglasses on even though I could care less about whether or not he sees my worn face. As I drove away and turned the up the volume, the crying came back. Good grief!

A magical night of tunes with Colin Hay.

August 13, 2017.

  How does Colin have the ability to take my breath away but also help give me the will-power and strength to breathe?

  There are truly no words to emphasize or describe how remarkable and unreal this show felt. With my family sitting in the chairs on the side, I took this one opportunity to stand at the stage; from what I've noticed with Colin's venues, this is rare. Never have I been able to watch a performance this close to Colin. We were so close, we could hear his voice as he stepped away from the mic to finish Maggie.

  Colin has a large collection of songs, so I expected not to hear many of my favorites because they're usually not the typical show-pleasers. Even so, I held on to one of the newer melodies.

  While my new friend and I were taking a photo with Colin in the background as he tuned his guitar for the next song, I suddenly heard him strumming the first notes of The Best In Me. I knew -- instantly -- it was the song.

Shadows in the night, danger is all I know, so difficult to let go. If I close my eyes and breathe, gets easier to believe, and you bring out the best in me. 

Sheila caught me on
the brink of ugly crying. 

  I lost my ability to breathe, gasping in between each line. I can't remember the last time I was overcome with such a connection when a song was playing a mere few feet away from me. As he played the song, I felt as if he knew I wanted to hear it... I can't explain it. There was a force between the two of us; no one else was in this circular current. This was the first time I shared this what felt like one-on-one energy with Colin.

In your reflection I can see that you bring out the best in me.

  After he finished the song, all I can recall is looking at my friends, completely awe-struck of how truly magical those four minutes were for me. I exclaimed how I didn't think he'd play my favorite from Fierce Mercy, attempting to keep composure. I was fighting for air.

  All the positive energy, joy, love, were too much for me to handle. It felt unreal.

  Which song followed? I can't recall at this point; I attempted to sing along but was still near-hyperventilating due to the over-excitement. I hope every person gets to make a connection just as I did with a musician at least once in her or her lifetime.

Yeah, you help set me free, and you bring out the best in me.

It's National Taco Day!

October 4, 2016

My vegan taco: kale, zucchini, onions, tomatoes, very little quinoa and
lentil (just a tiny scoop from tomorrow's lunch, haha.). You can't forget
chips and extra hot sauce. Today's choice is Valentino's extra hot!

  This is a food I eat 2 to 4 times a week, so this isn't a meal I purposefully cooked for today's National Taco Day. My dad constantly took me to Los Compadres in MP growing up, and the restaurant probably dishes up the best tacos to date. It's authentic, Mexican cuisine. Our usual was a steak taco dinner with an extra taco. He'd eat the beans, I got the rice and we'd each have two tacos.

  I will, more than likely, never be able to have my usual there again since transitioning into a vegan diet (who knows; I may add fish at the least!), but nonetheless... You need to take my word for it and go there if you're in the area (Los Compadres, Dempster St., Mount Prospect, IL). Order steak tacos with lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, cilantro, and onions, and use the in-house Verde salsa to top it off. You won't be disappointed.

  For now, I'll be eating my homemade veggie tacos with as much hot sauce I can get on each without it running onto my hands. Happy taco eating, peeps!

A fantastic week to be an introvert.

September 30, 2016

September 30, Southeast Ohio.

  October is just around the corner! I'm on my third weekend of traveling and being out and about with people, which is quite shocking to me. I'm not quite the extrovert and one who wants to continuously be on the go, but these opportunities are worth it. The photo to the left was this afternoon's drive home from work, and it was a gorgeous ride. Despite the icky rain off and on this week, how can you not feel blessed to be living when you see a sky such as this one?

  My co-worker - a new friend - and I went to Chipotle to celebrate her birthday. I earned my last free bowl for the season. We went to Chipotle maybe three times since she started working with me, and we aren't complaining! This is one of the few places I trust with my vegan diet. I'm usually not disappointed, except a little bit today when the location we were at was all out of my favorite Tabasco sauce. Next time, if we aren't in a rush like today, we'll ask for another bottle and get all the hot sauce!

Would you look at that?!

January 13, 2016

  This is the first week of snow this winter in Ohio. About time. I mean, I don't like cold weather or snow by all means, but it's just interesting that the first snow took until now to make an appearance.

  First day of snow, yesterday, was not that brutal, but not very nice either. It was windy, loud, disruptive, windy, white, and windy. Yes, windy. I'm just complaining about it at this point, haha.

Caldwell Hall, New Concord, Ohio.

  Day two, today, was not terribly windy. Bitter, just a little bit, but not windy. Here's my favorite photo of the day:

Montgomery Hall, New Concord, Ohio.

  I don't like winter, but campus sure is pretty during this time of year. :)

Runnin' around.

October 30th, 2015

  It's been a good two months in good ole N-Cord and Zville (aka Ohio!). I'm starting to get into a routine, but not a strict, unbreakable routine. I still work out, probably too much, but it's not that controlling. As I typed that, I feel like I'm trying to convince myself that's true.

A large step forward in my life.

September 17, 2015

  It's September?! What was I doing instead of blogging?! Well, I was busy living life, going to the golf course then packing and moving to Ohio. Yup.. I'm finally an Ohio resident! Long story short, I got a job at Muskingum working in the Public Relations office.

Summer is going by too fast!

July 25th, 2015

  What?! It's almost August?! Well then. I feel like I let summer just pass me by. I've been busy with two jobs (only twice a week), golf, making workout plans for my aqua class, perfecting my breakfast muffins, and trying to be happy and fix myself. My bestie and I haven't been able to make time for yoga, which is upsetting, but she has summer school. She is working her butt off in these two classes to get ready for graduate school, and I am so proud of her! Her career goal of being a Pharmacist is a longer road than some careers, and she is doing what she has to, even if that means spending four days a week in the summer at classes then working on the weekends. I'm so proud of her!

I don't get it.

March 13, 2015

Unedited. This was
sometime after 7pm.

  It finally feels like spring. It may not look like it, but the snow is almost all melted away, and soon enough I'll be able to run outside comfortably and take some golf swings outside. Hopefully, this spring will be kind to me and allow me to actually feel warm so I can enjoy running and training for some fun 5k's.

30 Days of Being Thankful: Days 21, 22 and 23.

November 23, 2014

  I spent the weekend reading, designing (like the new header?), doing laundry, writing a letter, watching The Newsroom, and hoping for good answers tomorrow. From hearing back from the doctor and the managers at work, I just want to feel relief in knowing answers. I finished the book Love Anthony by Lisa Genova. I liked it, but it didn't make me cry like I hoped.

  21. I'm thankful for Rob Paulsen (Twitter handle @yakkopinky). I enjoy his work, and he is a really good person. I know, from listening to his podcast, voice over actors are all good to their fans and genuine people. I grew up with Rob, without knowing it, through cartoon my brother and I watched nonstop when we were kids. As an adult, I have a higher appreciation and fondness for his craft. I have an autographed photo of him with his characters, and he signed it saying "Keep smiling." I see it as I walk out the door every day as a reminder to follow my heart, stay positive, stay young, and of course, I gotta smile. I don't smile as much as I could, so maybe I need to bring it to my work desk so I have a positive attitude at work. So, thanks, Rob, for being you and doing your thing.

  22. I'm thankful for Prospect High School. I love that place. Going back today is a whole new feeling, and it's a sad realization that it will never be the same for me; I'll never feel the way I felt in high school. Despite this, the lessons I learned and the tools I gained that help me in college are still with me. Without going into a long story, high school was a good time for me, and I learned about myself, as most people probably do. I was surrounded with the right people at the right time to get through the hardships that come with growing up and coping I had to go through when I found out I have a learning disability.

Magenta Muskingum in 2012?
Photoshop, of course.

  23. I'm thankful for Photoshop and Illustrator. I can't draw. I'm getting better. Illustrator helps me with where I lack in drawing. It took a long time to just get decent at it, and I still have a lot more I need to learn. We used Photoshop for yearbook and newspaper, so my love for photography and design was heightened and developed because of the program. Thanks, Adobe, for the awesome software!

30 Days of Being Thankful: Day 20

November 20, 2014

  One week until Thanksgiving! There's also less than 2 weeks until I turn 23. Say what?! Maybe I should start acting for like it.. haha. I act mature enough for my age! I'm excited for Thanksgiving and a little break from Illinois. I'll be heading to Michigan for my mom's. My stepdad and I don't always see eye to eye, but he sure makes a delish turkey! I'll be making a quilt, baking, maybe shopping a little, and taking some photos.

Seattle, Washington in late October.

  20. I'm thankful for my camera and the past cameras I've owned and used. Photography had played a tremendous role in my life. Since I was little, I always loved taking pictures of people. I have a lot of pictures from junior high of everyone else but myself. In high school, working on yearbook then the newspaper allowed me to do t professionally, and now my photos will live on since being published in yearbooks and newspapers in college as well. I don't get to take pictures as a career, but I could always do it in a freelance setting. I did get to miss out on being the subject of my photos, bit that's what happens when you love being behind the camera too. I hope to continue photography, and even videography, as I travel and have new experiences in life.

30 Days of Being Thankful: Days 12 through 17.

  November 17, 2014

  I gotta make this a quick one... I have some books to get. After finishing Me Before You by Jojo Moyes, I'm determined to find a book that will make me cry. This one was close, but it didn't make me budge. Without ruining it for you, it's a story about a 27 year old woman who takes a position as a caregiver for a quadriplegic man who's sarcastic and once full of life but now, not so much. She is a really good writer, and I recommend this one to all fellow readers. It's a pretty quick read, so what are you waiting for?!

Time Lapse attempt: mission complete.

November 2nd, 2014.

  One month until I'm 23. Where did this year go?! Anyhow, it's about time I made an attempt with this time lapse thing.

  Here ya go:

  I took a picture every 30 seconds. I didn't do any major editing to the photos. Of course a little photo editing is in order, but I just wanted to get it finished and see if I understood how to put it all together. 

  Unfortunately, I didn't take enough pictures for a long enough period of time, either, so that's why the time lapse is very short. It was worth the experiment, though. I finally figured out how to use Photoshop to align the photos then to put it all together in After Effects. I have a highway one to put together that I will hopefully post soon.

A real vacation this time, plus business.

November 1st, 2014

We didn't win, but this
is more than enough!

  Seattle!! I went to Seattle last weekend for the CBI convention/conference since I was a part of a crew that produced a finalist broadcast from last school year. The Bomb Threat special was really emotional for me, so I'm ecstatic that the work I put into it paid off. I directed, produced, wrote, made graphics, got some video footage... yeah. I did stuff for it, haha. We were up against some really large stations, and I'm happy that we were just a finalist among the 800 plus entries. I mean, some of these stations had twice or three times the staff than we did.

My weekend visit to Ohio.

July 24, 2014

  You're crazy, they said. That's a waste of money and time, they said.

My favorite building
on campus.

  Do I care? No. I rented a car and hit the road at 1 am Saturday morning to Ohio and made it back home at 9:30 pm Sunday night. Do you think I'm crazy?

Last night in Ohio.

  December 13, 2013

Taken by me. October 2013.

  I'm ready. It's time to move on, pick a path, and work for what I want.