July 25th, 2015
What?! It's almost August?! Well then. I feel like I let summer just pass me by. I've been busy with two jobs (only twice a week), golf, making workout plans for my aqua class, perfecting my breakfast muffins, and trying to be happy and fix myself. My bestie and I haven't been able to make time for yoga, which is upsetting, but she has summer school. She is working her butt off in these two classes to get ready for graduate school, and I am so proud of her! Her career goal of being a Pharmacist is a longer road than some careers, and she is doing what she has to, even if that means spending four days a week in the summer at classes then working on the weekends. I'm so proud of her!
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Emily and I after not seeing
each other for two-ish weeks! |
OCD is now in my vocabulary. My therapist (counselor, doctor, whatever you want to cal her...) brought it up the first day in her office. I never really linked the word with my actions. My breakfast, snack and lunch I make on weekdays hasn't really changed since... maybe February? That's a little ridiculous, don't you think? If I run out of carrots or apples, I freak out and just over think about when I'll have time to buy more and what can be a replacements and blah blah blah. It's tiring having these rituals that make me angry and shaky if I don't have it set and done. I workout nearly every day. If I eat something out of line but didn't plan on working out, I still try to fit something in to make me feel better mentally. On days I don't have two jobs, I feel guilty if I don't work out in the morning, so I feel like I have to. I also established which days I go to the gym, so I must go those days or my whole day is off, or I think it would be. I'm still not putting on muscle, which is my goal. I was apparently looking "sickly" last month, but I can't agree with that. I did put on a little bit of weight since I was told that, but the workout habits and anxiety is still at an all time high. Even though I feel like I am trying to keep myself busy to avoid the over-thinking and worries I have in life, nothing is working.
That means the next step is counseling and more medication. I am the type of person that doesn't rely on medication to fix any sort of pain or issues, but there is nothing wrong with a temporary solution to get you on the right track. I was on it a few years ago, and my anxiety and skin picking did go away, so hopefully it'll work again but without the nasty side affects from the last prescription.
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| The lead singer is a babe... |
Speaking of keeping myself busy, the girls and I went and saw my favorite cover band last night, 16 Candles. As usual, the Mount Prospect Block Party had Rod Tuffcurls open up for the band. I really enjoyed my afternoon and night. I was there by myself for a good hour before and after the girls left, and it was relaxing to just take in my surroundings. I finally brought my new camera lens out for a little test run and practice. I'm still getting used to it. It sure goes take great photos. The person behind the camera makes a difference too, of course, but even for someone a little out of practice like myself took some good shots.
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| ... and so is the guitarist! |
This camera lens is going to spark my interest in photography again and help get me into freelance work or a full time career in a role I really want to be in. If someone paid me to be a band groupie and take pictures at every show, I wouldn't complain! I would love to have a job like that while I'm young. The only problem is most band performances go past my bedtime, haha. Either way, my "hobby" is coming back to life!
Tonight my sister and I are going on a little "girls getaway" for her 25th birthday. I can't believe we are getting old. And, as we get older, we are able to tolerate each other. I think we now have a better understanding of how we handled our childhood and also now understand we each had our own struggles. Whether that's to blame our parents or not, I don't think it matters anymore since we are pretty much adults now, or we are supposed to be acting like it!
