Daddy's little girl.

October 12th, 2014

Dad and I at the Cubs games
this summer.

  I think that's an understatement. I really am my Dad's favorite and little girl.
  It's been something on my mind recently, and I can say despite not always being the right "father figure" for me when seeing him as a parent, he truly does care for and love me. He puts up with my anxiety, mood swings, horrible golf skills, and many other things. I should appreciate him more for it. He's an interesting guy, to say the least.
  Not born in this country, you wouldn't know it because he came here when he was nine and had time to "Americanize" himself. He loves golf, eating, the Denver Broncos, real football (soccer), food, cherry flavored Pepsi, RC and Dr. Pepper, the Chicago Cubs, ice cream and popsicles, and his children. Did I mention he loves food and eating?!

Find myself again.

October 9, 2014
  It's October... really?! Where did this year go?! I'm just finding it hard to believe 2014 is reaching its end so soon. Surprisingly, I have gone on many adventures, and I still have a few more to embark on before the year's out.
  One thing I've been thinking about is finding oneself. We spend high school making the friends we want to call lifetime friends, striving to attend the best college to become working professionals, figuring out what hobbies want to be taken more seriously... we then have to do it all over again after obtaining a degree. Whether it's finding a job, continuing to graduate school or traveling the world while being young, the cycle starts again, maybe just for some of us.

My weekend visit to Ohio.

July 24, 2014

  You're crazy, they said. That's a waste of money and time, they said.

My favorite building
on campus.

  Do I care? No. I rented a car and hit the road at 1 am Saturday morning to Ohio and made it back home at 9:30 pm Sunday night. Do you think I'm crazy?

Unavoidable fear.

June 16, 2014
  I'm not afraid to admit it: I have flaws. I have anxiety. I have fear.
  What I have been thinking about in the past few hours is my fear of losing someone close to me. Not fear of losing a friend because of distance and poor communication skills, but losing someone I couldn't imagine not having in life because of death.
  I don't know whether to say it's a blessing or a future struggle, but I haven't lost a family member, friend or mentor at an age when I understood death; I lost a grandfather when I wasn't even born, and I lost the other when I was very young. I've had students I didn't know well die. I've had my teachers' family members pass on. I've haven't had someone close in my life pass away. I've never had to deal with that pain before.
  I would say the closest person that I have lost in my life is Coach Donna Newberry. I was fortunate to meet her before she passed, but I wasn't lucky enough to call her my coach for as long as I thought I was going to. She only got to see me at practice three times. Even though softball wasn't something I was able to stay committed to at Muskigum, she is the reason I went to school there, brought God in my life and taught me great life lessons. Even though that part in my life was hard, I couldn't imagine losing someone even closer to me in life at this point in time.
  I'm scared now more than ever that when that time comes, I won't be able to handle the emotion that comes with it. I'm not trying to say I wish I had to experience it sooner, but it's a life event that seems to be stalling its arrival. The worst part of this fact is I was unable to help friends around me when he or she had to experience loss. I've never had to, so I didn't know how to put myself in those shoes. It's a daunting feeling.
  I'm not really sure the point I'm trying to make here, but it makes me want to see everyone I love this summer once because the joy of my friends' and family's love and support could decrease before I know it and before I can show my love and appreciation back.

'No other love.'

May 2014

  I can't say I'm an expert on love, any kind of love, but I know I've felt multiple types of love immensely these past months since leaving college in December. The affection that's been sent my way has been extraordinary. It's not from a whole lot of people, but it's more than enough for me. I feel that there are different types of affection for people: