'No other love.'

May 2014

  I can't say I'm an expert on love, any kind of love, but I know I've felt multiple types of love immensely these past months since leaving college in December. The affection that's been sent my way has been extraordinary. It's not from a whole lot of people, but it's more than enough for me. I feel that there are different types of affection for people:

  Friendship love is a great feeling. My whole life, I've had the struggle of keeping in touch with girls from school or sports. I'm finally, at age 22, saying I think I may have 2 life-long friends. There are individuals that are in high school right now and went to high school with me who I KNOW can say he or she has three best friends that he or she will have for life. I honestly couldn't say that with certainty when I was in high school. I don't know if it's because I was always on the move with softball to give time to people, but I never had that one person I could always depend on or want to tell everything to, every day, constantly. I've had boyfriends where I've wanted to share every little thing with (even things like seeing a cool bird on the way to work!), but not to a friend. I've always thought there was something wrong with me, but I feel that I may have now realized what it takes to have those types of friendships.

Myself and Emily at her graduation!

  I say that there are two possible people that I can call my "bbfl", but only time will tell, and I sure hope these two girls will be that label. I find that we are each other's role models, not just academically and career-wise, and we always strive to be good at what we do. As people, we have similar traits. Within each friendship, we are able to have fun at the right time and be serious when we have to be (for the most part). Sometimes, that's hard to come by. Or, I'd be afraid to open up to allow the opportunity for serious talks. This friendship love has felt so good: you always want the best for her and don't compete or get jealous. You push her around knowing it's not personal. You open up and say the weirdest thing ever, but she still texts you the next day. I think, "why the hell does she still want to be my friend?!". Moments like that make me feel and understand why friendships are important in life.

  I recently attended one of my best friend's graduation, and I was so honored and blessed to be there for her with her family. It was a long drive to and from, but so worth it. The weather was beautiful, and I finally got to visit another small college campus. Man, St. Norbert College is very stunning. From the academic buildings to the river that runs along the quad, it was a breath of fresh air, and I can see why she decided to go there. (The ceremony itself was pleasant and not too uptight like I was expecting because it's a Catholic school.) Anyway, the point is, she and her family were welcoming of me to experience and celebrate this part of her life, and it made me feel important and loved. She's my froyo and yoga buddy for life!

  The second type of that is new to me is exceptionally overwhelming. I don't know if it has a name, label or phrase. I guess you can say it's a love between a mentor and pupil, a teacher and student or . Becoming an adult, I've come to realize making friends and forming bonds with those who may be double your age is a normal occurrence for young adults. This aspect really tests one maturity, I feel. I've made great relationships with my professors that have formed into a new type of bond, and now, with some of these individuals, it's a relationship that consists of various topics of conversation and feelings of happiness, protection and even love.

  Love. Not the kind of love you get from your parents, older family members or your best friend's parents (don't quite know that love, either!). It sometimes feels like that, but it's so much more special because even though you feel that connection, it's with someone who isn't blood related to you, but he or she makes you feel that way and then some. I don't think I'm making sense, and that's because I'm having a hard time myself making sense of this feeling. It's not that you need to be in contact every day, or even every week, but you know you're hoping he or she is doing fine and the feeling is mutual. You look up to that person for advice but also just want to have a chat about the news, something funny that make you think of that person or give him or her an update about what's been going on in your life. The best part is, you don't expect this kind of love; I know I didn't. I didn't expect to form a strong bond with an adult that encompassed a relationship of being friends, a mentor, a role model, and the feeling or an addition of a family member.

  So, what is this relationship called? Is it a friendship with unexpected boundaries? Is it a mentor-ship developed into something new? It doesn't feel like that, though. Honestly, even though it may have started that way, I can't say it's like that. This new love was there from the start; it just took time to blossom. I'm now rambling. What I will end with is that there was a moment within one of these types of love I had with a mentor that literally - LITERALLY - took my breath away. When that person said "I love you", that's when I knew this kind of love truly exists. I just... just thinking about it is making me emotional. I was happy, sad, proud, blessed, but mainly, honored. This doesn't happen every day. I felt like I had more purpose in life and a reason to keep pushing through this life. If there's anyone else that has felt this kind of love before that knows what I'm talking about: am I right?!

  I may be over thinking all these love emotions just a little bit, but just let me roll with it and be happy! I feel so blessed to say I am able to have these two new types of bonds in my life. It's like I'm in a kick-ass book about someone who's experienced a miracle. I'm not joking. These people I have these amazing relationships with should know that people like themselves saves lives. Seriously. I hope there are others like them that are being able to make these connections with others and spread it to a never ending and forever growing spirit of love. "Love, actually, is all around."