December 19, 2013
Have you ever had that one song that you thought was just so inspirational and motivational but never could pinpoint someone in your personal life that truly spoke those words to you? I used to have a song like that. You're in for a long one, ladies and gents.
Have you ever had that one song that you thought was just so inspirational and motivational but never could pinpoint someone in your personal life that truly spoke those words to you? I used to have a song like that. You're in for a long one, ladies and gents.
This took me over a week to write. It's been hard to find the right way to say everything I need to.
When I first heard "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" by Josh Groban way back in the day, not only did I fall in love with him, I was also so moved by the lyrics and the overall passion behind it. The main problem that I was having (I didn't realize it was a problem) was I honestly couldn't feel the meaning spoken to me in my life. There wasn't a person that me feel the way the song does: supported, wanted and loved. Don't get me wrong, people in my life had, but not the way Josh Groban sings it should feel like. Songs make you physically feel something, and no one in my life made me really feel the song. You know?
I don't want to admit it, but since hearing the song on my last trip away from Muskingum, I haven't heard it in quite a long time. I don't know why, but it wasn't a song I listened to since... maybe last spring? Anyways, it was such a weird, unfamiliar feeling. When I heard "When your heart's heavy I, I will lift it for you", I suddenly had a face pop into my head. A tear rolled down my cheek.
I continue to talk about this epiphany I had but yet to give a name to who this great influence is... Professor Drubel. That's his name. 33-or-so-year educator at Muskingum. (Is it embarrassing that all the big influences in my life are educators? I don't think so. I do get embarrassed, but forget the haters. I have always connected to my educators more than adults in my family if that clears things up... It's a long story to say the least.)
He was my Principals of Marketing professor. I honestly took the class because Doug said it's a fun and an easy-effort class. He was right, but I didn't think it was going to change my life.
I remember the first day (I wish crystal clear): we first had to mark on a sheet of paper how much we thought we actually new about marketing. I put a two. Ha. The other thing we did was discuss Oreos. Yes, Oreos. I think those first three days I saw more variety of Oreo packages than a Nabisco worker. No joke! The way Professor Drubel talked about branding and line extensions was... so engaging and interesting. I felt happy, interested and enlightened... every class, actually. Yeah, he could have printed out photos of each flavor package, but no. He had to stick every package he purchased in store, received from a student and even bought on eBay, on that blackboard. After two-three classes or so of taping over 20 of them, I stayed after to help bring them down and locking the next class out of the room until it was all hidden again and repeat the process again. That was probably one of the best aspects of his teaching style... you never know what he was going to pull out of those boxes!
How does "You Are Loved" relate to Professor Drubel? It started with Oreos. Because of all the some empty and some never opened products used for class lecture, I stayed after class, every day, to help clean up and expand on class topics. Never wasted time. We discussed reasons behind the company's choices on branding its products, how why the hell he paid for all those products (just to have the packaging!), my personal opinions about class lecture, then even some personal stuff like if Doug was going to propose and what I wanted to do after I graduate.
Professor Drubel was a professor that always seemed interested in every students' comments and questions. There's one thing I'll miss and wish more Muskingum professors do: before class started every day, he would address every student by name and ask how he or she was doing that day. Now that made me feel special. A professor that went out of his way ask every class to every student... just a little act that meant so much... at least it meant a lot to me. (He probably did so to remember each person's name, but I like to think it's more than that!) One little act like that went such a long way. It felt like a little reminder that somebody does care (whether it was him specifically or not), even though he did it to every student, and I bet each one felt good after being address like that. Just that little "and how are you doing today, Amanda?" is what I'm going to miss every Tuesday and Thursday.
"Don't give up. Everyone needs to be loved."
After sticking around his class every day to help surprise the next one, I started asking for his opinions and help about getting jobs and dealing with the boyfriend. He never really seemed to get annoyed. I'm an annoying person, and he dealt with it. I even asked to meet before class to discuss my credit card options now that I have to get one. He didn't care; he just wanted a few of my options emailed to him before we met.
I always stuck around to see if he needed anything before I left or let him know I couldn't stay long to help. I always said goodbye and got on my way, knowing I'd see him next class. That simple conversation and guidance felt like I had that family figure, maybe even father figure, I was supposed to have in my life. That's why this song finally played a role in my life. The one of many few songs that I never had someone to connect it with. Crazy how it feels to make that connection, right?!
I always stuck around to see if he needed anything before I left or let him know I couldn't stay long to help. I always said goodbye and got on my way, knowing I'd see him next class. That simple conversation and guidance felt like I had that family figure, maybe even father figure, I was supposed to have in my life. That's why this song finally played a role in my life. The one of many few songs that I never had someone to connect it with. Crazy how it feels to make that connection, right?!
Since being medicated for anxiety, the first two months were pretty difficult to deal with the transition. Good thing it was during my last semester of college (catch the sarcasm there?). I specifically had trouble with my food patterns and being able to eat when I wanted. I remember this day more clear than the first day of marketing; I had to produce a program of the involvement fair for TV. I didn't get to eat lunch that whole common hour and even hours before that. I was very frustrated and getting antsy, then irritable and worried. I was pretty much late to class. I was on the verge of tears and losing my breath, semi-hyperventilating, because I didn't get to eat. Not even two minute into class Professor Drubel said we were having a pop quiz to start. Shit, I thought, and I knew I was toast.
So, we pulled out our notebooks as instructed. I did so in such a shaky and reckless manner. I numbered the first line and he said: "Question one: how many Oreos does it take to reconstruct the Eiffel Tower?".
My troubled looked turned into a semi forceful smile. I was SO relieved. Even though I haven't eaten and I was so panicky about it, such a goofy pop quiz made it go away. At first, yeah, I was mad that it made me even more unstable for about two minutes, but just the idea of it was pretty clever and made me feel better: it's important to not blow things out of proportion until understanding what's really going on. I laugh writing this now, but that probably saved the day.
My troubled looked turned into a semi forceful smile. I was SO relieved. Even though I haven't eaten and I was so panicky about it, such a goofy pop quiz made it go away. At first, yeah, I was mad that it made me even more unstable for about two minutes, but just the idea of it was pretty clever and made me feel better: it's important to not blow things out of proportion until understanding what's really going on. I laugh writing this now, but that probably saved the day.
I guess what I'm trying to get at with all this, is that I am blessed to have met someone who reminds me every day my life is worth living, and I shouldn't give up because I have so much potential and will shine on others. I've had a hard time with getting guidance and advice from adults in my family, so to find that adult I can talk to about pretty much anything during last four month of my college career really sucks; it more than sucks. It's really miserable.
The point is, "You Are Loved" finally plays a role in my life. I used to listen to the song and get the inspiration from Josh Groban, who I have never met before. But, now I imagine and can feel someone in my life reminding me I have potential and that I shouldn't give up. There are people around me who do care. Even if I don't feel it from my family members, there are those in my life that can sometimes play that role, whether he or she tries to or not. I've gained a new father figure and friend that I hope to keep in touch with for the rest of my life.
God will bless him in so many more ways for what he has done for me. So, thank you, Professor Drubel, for making someone else's life just a little bit (well, more like a lot) better and reminding me to not give up.
He told me something that I will never forget. Not going to say word for word, but it made me feel like I was living with a purpose. No adult has ever made me feel that way. (After that, I walked down the stairs to my class and just cried for a good four minutes. I didn't really care that I was crying in class!) It really makes me proud of who I've become despite the struggles of having a not-so-strong family and having my educators as the family role models I needed. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.
The point is, "You Are Loved" finally plays a role in my life. I used to listen to the song and get the inspiration from Josh Groban, who I have never met before. But, now I imagine and can feel someone in my life reminding me I have potential and that I shouldn't give up. There are people around me who do care. Even if I don't feel it from my family members, there are those in my life that can sometimes play that role, whether he or she tries to or not. I've gained a new father figure and friend that I hope to keep in touch with for the rest of my life.
"Everybody wants to be understood. Well, I can hear you. Everybody wants to be loved. Don't give up because you are loved."I can't say for sure if Professor Drubel will ever really understand how he has impacted me (or will read this), all my professors for that matter. He was just "the all-natural strawberries" on "the froyo" (aka the icing on the cake, fyi!) when it comes to everyone that has helped me at Muskingum. Each educator did something different, but he fit that father figure I needed in my life while I was closing this chapter of my life and starting the next. Whether he reads this or not, I got to write it down and maybe share this with someone else and inspire him or her to "shine to guide" others.
God will bless him in so many more ways for what he has done for me. So, thank you, Professor Drubel, for making someone else's life just a little bit (well, more like a lot) better and reminding me to not give up.
He told me something that I will never forget. Not going to say word for word, but it made me feel like I was living with a purpose. No adult has ever made me feel that way. (After that, I walked down the stairs to my class and just cried for a good four minutes. I didn't really care that I was crying in class!) It really makes me proud of who I've become despite the struggles of having a not-so-strong family and having my educators as the family role models I needed. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.
"Don't give up. It's just the weight of the world."
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