Stay positive.

July 14, 2013
  It's been a much better week. I've been hearing positive words. I feel like there aren't people listening or knowing how I feel, but there are. Even when there isn't someone, there's always God. I'm blessed to know that I have people I can talk to when I need someone to just listen. Shout out to Steph for making me smile and almost shed happy tears the other day. I'm glad I found, for sure, one long-lasting friendship from joining ASA. Even though she's going to make her dreams come true in Australia, each other's blogs will keep us informed. (Thank you advances in technology!)

  Another shout out to my favorite Chaplain Will. He really is a great person. Even if I feel like I'm annoying him with my issues, he still makes me feel comforted and tells it to me straight, no bullshit. It's hard to hear the truth sometimes, but he'll dish it out to me anyways. He's one of the few reasons why I wouldn't mind having a job in the Muskieland area.
  I covered a local group's monthly meeting for my internship, and my advisor thought I did a great job on taking the right tone on the piece. I've just been doing what I've been taught and think is right, haha. I hope all of my work has been good! I'm nervous that this work isn't going to get a passing grade for my internship. I feel like I've been doing well and enough work, but I need to start putting my social media skills to the test. I can't wait to get some WordPress designs done and see what I come up with. I want to add some Flash stuff to the site but haven't found any good research that shows what's useful for a micro local website. I'll figure something out eventually...

  I sometimes laugh at myself. I get so worried about the littliest things. I think way too much about EVERYTHING. I just want everyone around me to be happy and smile. In the process, I spend too much time letting myself be miserble and let the thought of what I think others are thinking about me be the only thing I listen to. Why? Most people I encounter aren't going to be spending all his or her time with me, so why should I care about others think of me? "She's fat." "What an idiot." "She's weird and a freak." "What the hell is on her face?" "You're so skinny." "Just stop."
  I am going to stop... stop letting opinions that's aren't going to help me have an influence on me. I'm going to stop pleasing everyone and not let myself feel misery for the sake of others. I'm going to start being positive again.
  Talk is cheap. I can say all this, but that doesn't mean I'm on that path to self happiness. Once I start actually putting things into place in my life, I can be proud of myself. It's only when I start feeling truly better that I can let others be proud of me, too.

  On my way to meet with my internship advisor, I met an older military veteran that hopped on the wrong train and was getting off at the same stop. Man, was he talkative (very fit and active for his age too)! He actually wanted to move to MP, which I thought was pretty cool. We walked together through Lincoln Square and talked the whole time. He said I was a people-person and will do well in the journalism field. That made my day. I always find a reason, big or small, to love each day, and that did it. I will probably never see him again, but he helped me, in the littliest way, to stay positive this weekend.